Intoxicated Again

The memories of you are the sharp thorns on my crown.

The exchanges we had jab my ribs.

Beside me is the past and the future.

The past begs me to call,

the future is ashamed of it all,

I can only speculate.

My vision is not of you,

nor is it of me, 

but what could be if I were not me.

If I wasn't here I would be the past.

If I were not there I could be the future.

neither here nor there it sickens and ales me.

The comfort that I felt.

I would give it all for a timeline,

for a chance.

For you to make me laugh,

to make me cry,

and make me sad.

Star

The name you took for yourself.

Star bound

The direction you look.

Star struck

The feeling you left.

Maybe if I weren't me

but you stayed you,

and if I made sure to stay true.

To you, 

to me, 

to us.

The me you met was once true.

The me I left was the same too.

The me you saw was me too. 

The me that left didn't hurt you.

If I didn't know better I would beg

I didn't know better, 

you begged.

...

    When I met you, you taught me I could be loved. Up until you, I felt worthless. I was so surprised I couldn't believe it. It tore my world of its head. It changed who I was in relation to everything. The perspective changed. What I said mattered for once. So, it made me guilty. Guilty that I felt praised. Until then I was a burden and like the burden I was, I destroyed everything we built. Like I was and would be. I hurt you. I hated myself for hurting you, and so I hurt you more. Unknowingly knowingly I made decisions to push away the purity you gave me. I had no response and was incapable of proper reciprocation. My occupation was a burden you should have never enjoyed. So it has been and so it will.